parenting advice – Words from The Peeman

I wasn’t planning to write this blog, but something big has happened here. Our middle daughter Laura got engaged! Upon hearing the news, a whole bunch of us piled in the truck and headed south to meet up with Laura and fiance Alex to celebrate. Some might think it odd that the PeeMan would announce his daughter’s engagement to the world in his PredatorPee blog….but to Laura, it would be a surprise if he didn’t.

IMG_0367 (1) You see, we have three wonderfully unique daughters. Erica, the oldest, married with four kids and along with husband Nathan is actively involved in the Pee business, Emma our youngest, just venturing into the world of adult-hood and Laura, now planning her wedding. Three daughters is a lot for a father to handle especially since the PeeMan is pretty old-school. I have embraced the idea taught in the Bible that a father is responsible for his daughter until she is married…you can only imagine how that goes over in today’s world. Proactive fatherhood is messy, awkward, uncomfortable, risky, painful, intrusive and exhausting…. yet in the end, it is absolutely perfect. I, of course, messed it up along the way, I am sure. There wasn’t a detailed playbook, but I kept at it. How many times haven’t I said to the girls:

“The last place I want to be is here having this conversation with you, but its my job, God gave it to me and I love you, so we’re stuck right here together until we get though this.”

Now through it all, I look back and can say it was all worth it. As teenagers and adults, I am so thankful that they have let me be a part of their lives while I know of so many fathers who have been locked out.

Two weeks ago, Alex met with my wife and I to ask permission to marry Laura….(old school, we liked that!) and we gave our blessing. Now I look forward to handing my responsibilities over to Alex…. just like it should be. Congratulations, Laura & Alex!

Until I find more words(or another daughter gets engaged) . . .The PeeMan

Greetings from the snowy North Woods!

A little less than a year ago, I reworked some things on the blog and promised to expand my topics. I haven’t done a great job so far, but it is New Year’s resolution time and I might as well give it another go. I mentioned in a previous post( The Long Winter)that I had written a book for my 3 adult daughters and given it to them for Christmas 2014. I have decided to publish some of it on the blog. Probably going to stick with the topics that will have the broadest appeal. Like I wrote in the foreword:

Some shallow(thoughts), some profound, some foolish and some so-so – but nevertheless all for you(daughters)

Dedication:(names are deleted to protect the innocent and not so innocent)

To(oldest daughter)who made me think being a father was going to be easy, to(second daughter)who proved that it wasn’t, to(youngest daughter)who showed me how much I still had to learn and to(my wife)who allows me to be the father I think I should be.

Love, DaD – Christmas 2014

Risk

What risks are worth taking? That is a question that we deal with in almost every endeavor. Will telling the truth damage a friendship? Will making a certain decision potentially cause an unforeseen problem? Will inaction allow something bad to happen? Will intervention put someone in harm’s way? Plus all the risky decisions that involve finance, family and livelihood. As you know, I am chronically non-risk adverse. So, take this advice accordingly. Risk is a matter of weighing the benefits against the harm and that process takes a little effort. My process starts with three steps. The first is to clearly evaluate the benefits to determine if it is even worth considering the risks. If step one is positive, step two is clearly to picture the worst case scenario if the action goes badly and estimate the likelihood of that happening. Step three is to ask yourself whether you can handle the worst case scenario. Then consider carefully all that information and make a decision.

Excerpt from Thoughts for My Daughters by Ken Johnson

Until I have more thoughts . . .The PeeMan